


My World Without You

by goodbyekillingharmony



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, idk what to say so yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 10:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17661353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbyekillingharmony/pseuds/goodbyekillingharmony
Summary: Kaito Momota was a very important figure in Shuichi Saihara's life. He couldn't imagine a life without being his sidekick.And when Kaito is finally gone, Shuichi still cant fathom a world without Momota and doesn't want to.Even if the nightmares are too much to handle.





	My World Without You

**Author's Note:**

> lemme sleep pls this hurts

“Shuichi! There you are, I've been loo-” 

“Shuichi! A-Are you okay? H-Holy fuck…” 

“K-Kaito…?” 

“Shuichi! Shuichi… Oh my god…” 

“Kaito?” 

“S-Shuichi… P-Please, stay with me. I got you! Don't worry!”

“K-Kaito! W-What the hell? I-I'm right here-” 

“S-Shuichi… O-Oh my god… N-No! Goddammit, look at me! It's g-going to be alright! Y-You're okay…

Please be okay, Shuichi. D-Don't you fucking dare die on me.”

“K-Kaito…?” 

_ “God fucking dammit… Shuichi!”  _

 

Shuichi woke up in cold sweat, that dream still ever present in his mind as his body was becoming more numb. 

His voice was as clear as day. As though he hadn't even left. Every minute detailed Shuichi had recalled about Kaito’s voice. 

Almost like he-

Shuichi gently closed his eyes again before the tears were able to escape his eyes. 

He dropped back onto the mattress. 

 

Shuichi woke up what seemed like hours later, jolting upwards as his heart raced. 

It was just a dream… 

Saihara heard a knock at his door. He pondered on the trip from his bed to his door who the hell would wake him so early, even before the usual morning announcement. 

He opened the door, and saw him. He looked just as bright and cheerful as he usually was. He wouldn't admit it, but that wide smile always seemed to get to him. The way his optimism filled and seemingly brightened any situation he was in was intoxicating for Saihara.

 

“Morning, bro! How'd you sleep?”

“A-Alright…” 

“C’mon, Shuichi! I can tell when you're lying!” 

“I-I'm not!” 

“You're thinking about- right?” 

“H-Huh? What's gotten into you, K-?” 

“What's gotten into *you*, Shuichi?” 

“Kaito…?”

“Is this what you really think of me? S-Shuichi… I never knew… W-Well, in actuality, I-I had feelings for you too.” 

“K-Kaito!”

 

_ Shuichi was confused by the situation. _

 

Kaito got closer to Shuichi and cupped his face, squeezing his cheeks a bit. Shuichi's face immediately flushed red. He closed his eyes again. And opened them.

 

~~_ It wasn't a dream.  _ ~~

 

“K-Kaito…” Shuichi spoke softly, pulling Kaito’s face closer to his own. 

He closed his eyes yet again, this time to hide his tears. He could have sworn he heard Kaito chuckle a bit.

 

“Y-You had no idea how long I had to… How much I wanted to let you know that- I-I love you, K-Kaito!”

“Hush. I love you too, Shu. Forever and always. I'll never leave you. I'll always be here if I have you by my side, my beloved sidekick!~”

Kaito finally closed the gap between them, pulling Shuichi into kiss. 

* * *

 

 

Shuichi opened his eyes and still saw Kaito, however didn't feel his presence at all. He saw lips pressed against his own, but there was no contact. No warmth. No comfort. 

He pulled away and saw Kaito slightly bleeding from his mouth, slightly dripping down his face as he clenched his fists in pure frustration. 

When he saw Kaito's eyes, he felt a dagger stab his heart. They looked so empty, so lifeless. His skin as pale as a sheet as the blood slowly started seeping out the astronaut’s closed mouth.

No.

_ No, goddammit. _

**_He wasn't going through that again._ **

~~_**Please.** _ ~~

 

“K-Kaito!” Shuichi desperately exclaimed as he approached Kaito. 

The detective accidentally blinked.

 

_ He opened his eyes again. _

 

He saw Kaito's corpse, rotting there on the ground. 

It took Shuichi everything he had in his power not to throw up. Seeing Momota in this state was tearing Saihara apart. His skin was ghost white and his clothes were covered in blood.

 

_ Why. _

 

_**Why Kaito?** _

~~_**W-Why…?** _ ~~

 

The detective sat next to the body and grabbed his hand, desperate to feel some kind of contact. Even if it had to be like this, he just wanted to know if he was there.

 

_ Empty and hollow. _

 

In other words, nothing at all. 

 

Just as the detective had feared.

 

He closed his eyes again, this time, in complete desperation.

 

_ Saihara opened them. _

 

He saw Kaito above him, with the astronaut above him being very much alive.

 

Thank god.

* * *

 

 

Kaito looked nervous. No, pained would be the correct word. His eyes were full of worry and somber as the taller boy frantically started moving around the detective. Shuichi couldn’t move a muscle, almost as if he was a statue. His words didn’t to seem to have much impact either as the astronaut completely ignored him, yet seemingly was focused on him.

Saihara was helpless to do anything. Anything he might have wanted to do was rendered pointless as he saw Momota not reacting to anything he was saying, although his eyes were fixated completely on him.

This continued on for a few minutes, Saihara, seemingly mute, was powerless to impact Momota in any way.

That’s what pained him the most.

He was powerless to control the tears falling from Kaito’s eyes.

_ They stayed there for a little while until Kaito lost his composure, hard. _

Saihara watched as he started pleading with him.

 

“Shuichi… Don’t die… P-Please- I can’t lose you…”

 

“We were gonna escape together, right? With you by my side, we could actually fix the outside world, however fucked it may seem.”

 

“G-Get your shit together, Shuichi! You’re going to be just fine! Hang on and we can get you some help!”

 

_ They stayed there for a long while until Kaito finally gave up.  _

Saihara watched as he said his final goodbyes to him.

 

“S-Shuichi… N-No… W-We…  We were gonna kick the world’s ass!”

…

“D-Do you remember that? W-Without you… I don’t know what we’ll do.

We’re so fucking screwed without you, bro!”

…

…

“I-Is this really the end? Shuichi…!”

…

…

…

“I-I guess this is really the end, h-huh…?

I don’t think I can really accept it. I don’t think I can ever accept it…”

“B-But! ...W-What am I even saying anymore?  God, you’d probably laugh if you saw me like this, hah.”

…

…

“I-I guess this is goodbye then, huh… Shuichi, I-”

…

“I love you, Shuichi Saihara. Words can’t even describe how happy I am to have gotten you as a sidekick… And I’m so sorry if I ever doubted you. God, this killing game sure fucks a guy up, doesn’t it?”

…

“You were stronger than the rest of us, that’s for sure. Death after death, and you still held your head high.”

…

…

…

“T-Thank you for the memories, Shuichi. You’ll always be with me. You won’t be forgotten, you hear me?! Not you, not Kaede, not Rantaro, and definitely not anyone who’s died! I’ll keep you guys around!”

…

…

“As long as I’m still here anyway… Thank you, Shuichi.”

  
  


Shuichi saw Kaito remove his coat and put it on his chest, and walked away, leaving him to stare at the dark sky.

He couldn't feel the fabric of the coat at all. 

_ He couldn't feel Kaito. _

 

…

 

Kaito wasn't coming back. No matter how long Shuichi was willing to wait, he knew he wouldn't come back. 

Not here, not anywhere. 

 

Shuichi has to accept that.

 

_ Saihara opened his eyes, finally escaping the nightmare. _

_ And was brought back to reality.  _

 

Shuichi was in front of Kaito’s door, already having knocked on it several times, even knowing the fact that he wasn't going to open it. 

He wasn't going to after all. 

Saihara, still curled up in a ball, started recounting what he had seen in his dream. It all felt so real, like these events actually occurred, even if they were pure fiction.

Kaito Momota was dead, executed. 

And Saihara still couldn't fathom that. He couldn't imagine a world without Kaito, 

and he doesn't want to.

 

Shuichi’s nails were digging into the fabric of his clothes, trying to reach the skin. 

He could feel the pain.

This time, everything was real. 

Shuichi knows. Everyone does. 

 

…

 

But that doesn't mean he should accept it, right? 

 

“Kaito…” 

 

There's no way life could be this unfair, right? 

 

“Kaito… I…” 

 

For one person to go through so much suffering… It doesn't seem real. 

 

“Kaito! I-I miss you so much… P-Please… O-Open the door. I-It's alright… We'll get through this, both of us!” 

 

Because it isn't. 

 

“Kaito…?” 

 

What are feelings and emotions exactly? 

 

“K-Kaito…” 

 

It's all apart of our imaginations. 

 

“Kaito.” 

 

Like it should be. 

 

_ Saihara stayed by Kaito's door a little while longer. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> insta - @ninetailsvale


End file.
